


Memories of You

by wannabeoppa



Series: The Bandori Drabbles [7]
Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Arisa's parents, F/F, Give Arisa a hug man, HC where Arisa's parents were a bunch assholes, Hurt/Comfort, Past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-08-26 04:05:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16674187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wannabeoppa/pseuds/wannabeoppa
Summary: It may take awhile for these memories to disappear, but she knew that it will with the help of everybody by her side.





	Memories of You

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the fics that delved into the topic of Arisa’s parents.
> 
> There isn't any confirmation about her parents so.. i mean.. 
> 
> I do apologise that I might have made this a little too dark. Based on how little her parents were mentioned, this could have happened but this is my personal HC.

The first thing she did was rub the sleepiness out of her eyes. She was pretty sure that she slept in her room with the rest of PoPiPa with her - apparently not. The room was silent but it wasn’t eerie. Though, it was pretty unsettling that Kasumi’s heavy breathing or Kasumi herself wasn’t there when she woke up. She looked down at her body, yep, she was wearing the same pyjamas she went to bed in.

When she looked up looking for an answer, she was at one of the ends of a hallway. At first glance, she could tell that it was the same hallway in her grandmother’s house - something was odd about it, however.

_Pictures._

The walls were covered with picture frames of different sizes; some almost reached the ceiling, the others as tiny as a cut picture for a locket. They were all next to each other with barely any spaces to separate them. From where Arisa stood, the frames looked like they were made as such to create a collage. The bigger picture was unclear to her, though.

Her body moved out of curiosity. These things were so out of place. For one, the frames looked way too expensive for her grandmother’s taste and two, Arisa was fairly sure that she or her grandmother hadn’t taken these amount of photographs. With that in mind, she began to feel lost but the tatami mats felt familiar on the soles of her feet and the width of the hallway felt safer the more she moved farther. Her mind went back to the images within the frames. She cannot remember when or where this particular picture of Poppin’ Party was taken but they were all there - smiling and grinning like nothing was wrong in the world. It made Arisa smile despite the nagging thought of who could have possibly taken this picture. It was creepy but she couldn’t help but think how good the photo turned out.

Around this big framed photograph were a bunch of smaller ones. Most of them were with her bandmates where she looked annoyed at something the Tae was shoving to her face while was Saaya in the back smiling emphatically at her, and so was Rimi while Kasumi tried clambering on her back. She shifted a little further and the pictures were of her and Kasumi; Kasumi and her in the park, Kasumi in their first Poppin’ Party band outfit, Kasumi in their Star Beat! jacket outfit that never failed to make her heart skip a beat. The further she moved on this side of the wall, more Poppin’ Party pictures kept showing. It was almost nostalgic.

While the left side of the wall was filled with pictures of her friendship circle, the other side was her family. Her grandmother was there in one of those frames that towered to reach the ceiling, smiling at her with those kinds eyes that Arisa always have loved. Much like the other wall, it was surrounded by tiny photographs where it was her grandparents and her under a sakura tree in their backyard having tea. There was one where she had just gotten her first bonsai as a gift which spiralled into this relaxing obsession of hers. The walls were peppered with memories that she thought had disappeared in the wind. She was glad that it was documented in here - though she still quite doesn’t get where “here” exactly was.

Arisa sighed, light and comfortably. She felt sentimental as she pressed on, looking from left to right soaking in the images that the walls presented her. The question of where she was didn’t even occur to her as she took her time basking in the radiance that the happy memories that were preserved in photographs. The walk she was taking seemed endless, so were the frames perched at every perimeter of this long hallway. Admittedly, she never liked exerting any physical effort for anything. She’d much rather sit around with her phone all day but if her view will be like this, she wouldn’t mind at all. The endless joy in stills made her feel safe...

Until the frames ended abruptly a cold breeze rudely wafted past her, almost like a slap to her that snapped her out of her nostalgia.

The hallway stayed the same, long winded, but like a switch was flipped, all the familiar warmth that kept the blonde distracted dissipated into the heavy atmosphere. She looked back and the exhibit of photographs looked so far. She stepped back, wanting to turn back but she couldn’t; like an invisible wall preventing her from taking that one step back into safety.

Then she felt her body slumped slowly, starting from her shoulders to her knees. The air was suddenly thinner around her and it was much harder to breathe. Her mind slipping into a minor panic as her body suddenly struggled with its basic function. She was smart and she knew that panicking wouldn’t get her anywhere and pressed forward. It was a little easier to breathe when her feet moved a couple of feet forward. Though, the anxiety was bubbling up from the pit of her stomach. She felt sick.

She steeled herself and carried on. The exit must be here somewhere.

Despite the hallways being connected, this side had nothing to resemble any comfort like the one before. No happy pictures, no grandma, no Popipa. Rather than closed walls, this side had doors - way too many doors with white lights openly glaring into the middle of hall. Some emanating noise, some were as quiet as the night. 

With a palm perched against one of the walls, she gathered all the strength and courage she to escape. Her eyes burning, determined to slip out of this uncomfortable silence but she was drawn to what’s behind these doors, curious as what they could present much like how she felt with the previous encouter with the photographs. As much as she tried avoiding to avert her focus from her goal, her own will power betrayed her.

Arisa’s eyes peaked through one of them. It showed her something, and somehow she felt like she’d seen this before. Although, her memories of it were a little hazy. It was a bedroom that was for sure. The little pink bear in the middle of the pillows looked cute. She had one of those when she was growing up. The room was decorated fit for a toddler, she reckoned; pink wallpaper, boxes of crayons by the study table in corner and scattered above it were loose papers, blank and not. Her eyes scanned more of it and the walls were covered with childlike drawings. A very colourful set of stick figures in sets of threes and never less. She assumed that the drawings depict a family; a mom, a dad, and a little kid in the middle with pigtails just like hers. The drawings were similar in their theme - the little girl would always be holding onto the mom and dad’s hands along with the biggest crest for a smile on their round heads.

Arisa smiled. She used to draw those things. She called them “Wishes for the Future” to distract herself from missing her parents when they weren’t in the house. They were barely present during Arisa’s childhood and if ever they were, they somehow still had no time for her. She didn’t pry, though since she knew that both her parents were working hard for her sake and causing disturbance to them had never been on Arisa’s list to do.

She suddenly felt something wet dripped down her cheeks. Something about this was too familiar to Arisa. As the cogs in her head started turning, she pieced the puzzle from the collection of childish drawings on the wall.

She knew them well - all too well.

It was her room when her grandmother hadn’t taken her away, yet. And just like that the memories came crashing back. An endless wave of suppressed emotions came resurfacing all at once. Arisa felt like she was drowning.

This was their old house; the bed, the plushie, the drawings-

“ _This is your fault!”_

She felt a jolt of electricity all over her and then she froze. Her throat started to close up while the tears let themselves stream down her cheek. A familiar voice echoed from one of the open doors near the end of the hall - near the exit.

It was like a trigger pulled to release the emotions Arisa promised herself to never revisit again.

That voice, that yell, that conversation. The voices were muffled, at least but it didn’t make it less painful for the blonde. She was reliving a distant memory. It only took that voice for her a particular memory to resurface from the depths mind. The voice that broke her young self apart. The yell that proved her definition of a perfect and loving family only existed in her stupid, messy drawings.

She sobbed quietly realising well what was unfolding around her. She leaned against the wall to steady herself. She felt faint but she had to keep going. The exit was within her reach. Only a few more steps and she should be safe.

Her feet felt like they were in cement. It was hard for her to move, almost impossible but she needed to leave this behind like she had done before. She promised to herself that she will not face anything that remotely reminded her of her stupid parents. But no matter how much she pushed this away, it came back haunting her; the day that her parents gave her nothing but pain and misery, leaving her feeling sorry for herself for existing.

The air coming out of her were shallow. Her eyes blurred with the endless stream of tears but bravely dragged herself closer to the source of the voices. It was the only way for her to reach the light at the end. She had no choice but literally heave herself past the voices, past the cause of the permanent scar within her.

She attempted to block it out, keeping her mind occupied with anything; Kasumi’s stupid remarks, O-Tae’s rabbits, Rimi’s obsession with choco cornet, Saaya’s advise - anything!

But the closer she gets into the end, the clearer the voices had become. It was like a hideous movie only played for her and the screaming continued.

“ _I didn’t want her in the first place! This was your fault!”_

_Stop it._

_”Shut up!!”_

She heard a scramble in the room. It probably was the furniture being thrown at the wall as the man’s voice got exceedingly loud, spitting venom at the woman before her. The woman was unshaken, standing her ground as she shouted profanities back at him.

And Arisa was listening to this again, like a record in a loop. She blinked through the tears, heaving as she sobbed on the floor. She was almost free from this hideous recollection of her past.

She heard a small sob and couldn’t help but look. It was her younger self stood before her mother, clutching the bear plushie against her chest for her dear life. She was crying - as all young kids would when they walked in on their parents arguing. Her mother’s eyes piercing through like she was nothing but garbage. The words were distorted but the venom and poison in her words were clear as day.

Her mother gritted her teeth at young Arisa who still looked at her mother with all the love in world despite the bitterness she spat at her.

_“You ruined my life.”_

——

“Arisa!”

Her eyes shot open at the call of her name. It was loud enough to shake her out to reality. She was dazed, shaken, and afraid. Her body in tremors, head spinning from the whirl of emotions she had just gone through. Even with Kasumi’s hands holding her steady when she sat up, she couldn’t bring herself to think that she was back in her room wearing the same pyjamas, and with Popipa at her side.

She took her first breathe after being awaken. She almost choked at the sudden burst of fresh air into her lungs. She felt light and thanking the stars for how good it felt. It took her time to process where she was sitting. It was her bed. The covers felt soft, a familiar softness with the mattress dipping a little deep as the girls surrounded her. The gentle caress on her back finally registered, too. It made her body jolt but relaxed knowing that it was Kasumi’s. Her patterns were familiar over the fabric of her pyjamas. It was warm...thank god it was warm.

”Breathe...” A gentle voice spoke. She blinked through the remaining tears and saw Saaya in front of her, eyes laced with worry. Beside her was Tae and Rimi with the same magnitude of concern. Rimi’s tears were brimming, threatening to break the dam in a heartbeat. They tried reaching out to her. Their fingers hesitant and Arisa didn’t know what to do. Should she reach out to them, too to keep her grounded in reality? She didn’t want to slip back into that hellish nightmare she’d been through. The pianist’s fingers twitched from her side, wanting to reach out, to hold the people she treasure most in the world. The people she knew that will tell her how much she meant to them.

“It’s okay...we’re here.” Kasumi whispered came in contact in her ear before pressing her cheek on Arisa’s shoulder, giving her a gentle side hug. Arisa turned rigid as a surge of emotions filled her. It was a mixture of so many different things at once. There was fear; fear that all of these were nothing but a her mind giving her a false sense of security. That her mind was playing tricks on her. Maybe Kasumi wasn’t exactly here whispering sweet nothings to calm her down. But there was also relief that her friends came to her aide as soon as she needed them.

Her body did calm down after awhile. Kasumi didn’t stop the ministration of gently drawing small circular patterns across the small of her back.  

She felt like she was at home. And it was just a nightmare. A very rare happenstance.

“S-sorry.” She whispered as  she tried to brush the stares directed at her away. They were all concerned about her but even in this situation Arisa couldn’t help but feel embarrassed. As much as she loved everybody in the room, she wasn’t comfortable enough to let herself be open like this, Kasumi was a special exception however. The brunette knew that only a specific nightmare could make Arisa this upset.

Saaya shook her head, a gentle smile upon her lips as a response to her. “Are you okay..?”

She couldn’t say if she actually was. And then she felt weight wrap around her body, limbs tangling around her to cage her - not in the way that she wanted to break and escape. If anything she felt safe. The four of them together in a ball of warm comfort, protecting her from everything that the world - both conscious and unconscious - will throw at her. She smiled as let herself melt into the embrace of her friends, fear disappearing the more they stayed tangled up and their beating heart calming her riled up senses.

She felt okay.

”Thanks.” She simply said. “Sorry I woke you guys up.” She let a small smile poke from the corner of her lips signalling the rest that she felt better. She wiped her tears away with her arm and taking a deep breathe. Three of her friends were still reluctant to leave but they trust Arisa and left her in Kasumi’s care.

Kasumi kept herself quiet until the rest of settled back into their futon. “You okay?”

Arisa bit her lip as if preventing tears from falling again. She took a deep breath while her fingers searched for Kasumi’s shirt gripping it tight. She looked at her and smiled through her tears.

“Stay with me?” Arisa croaked as the tears began again. Kasumi didn’t have to be told twice and held the blonde in her arms tightly as she nuzzled deep in Kasumi’s collar. She wept silently as the remnant of her nightmare still lingered in her mind. Kasumi tried her best calming her love with simple strokes at the back of her head whispering assurance atop her head.

“I love you, okay?” Kasumi whispers as she felt Arisa’s tears soaked through the fabric of her shirt. Kasumi tried to keep her composure. She cannot break in front of Arisa. She had to be her strength through this even if it meant that she had to stay up all night stroking her hair.

“I love you so much…” Kasumi’s words seemed to go through Arisa as her grip relaxed and her convulsing stopped.

Her past can never be forgotten so easily. The scars it left still felt fresh after years ignorance. Arisa thanked the stars and the moon for giving her Kasumi, Popipa, and her grandparents for being her saving grace, keeping her feet grounded to the present letting her know that she was wanted and loved.

She thanked everyday that she was able to create new memories with them. The memories she wanted to preserve in her own hallway for the future. The memories that will bury the ugliest reminder of what she had gone through.

It may take awhile for these memories to disappear, but she knew that it will with the help of everybody by her side.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Alexa play - Memories of You from Persona 3 (god, I love that song. That game made me cry!)
> 
> I was feeling a little angsty. Am I okay? Am I really okay?
> 
> I may be projecting a little on this. I found something about me personally just a week ago and this kinda fuelled it. I'll keep it together, though..I'll manage
> 
> Hope this was okay. I tried to be as detailed on the ending but brain machine broke.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed, still!
> 
> ___
> 
> Scream at me on twitter! @neddisoppa


End file.
